First impressions last… Making that first session count

Recently Nic and I had the pleasure of holding the first Australasian Training for the Developmental Model here in Auckland. We had a heart-warming response to this inaugural “event”.  As we reflected on the experience, it drew to mind the importance of the first session; that unique opportunity to make a significant connection with and … Read more

Shifting from Conflict to Connection: Case study of a Hostile Angry Couple.

You can hear them arguing in the waiting room before you set eyes on them. Sometimes they just blindly continue their fighting as they walk through your door and take a seat, without even stopping to say hello. This kind of scenario puts a lot of people off working with couples. And those fears are … Read more

Why You’ll Fill Your Practice Faster with Our Training

Relationship difficulties are a major reason people seek therapy, whether as individuals or couples.  And when they get good help, they talk about it.  Word of mouth still remains the best advertising for our sort of business. Having a clear framework to approach relationship issues, one that gives your clients a fresh perspective, sensible explanations and new strategies to … Read more

A magic trick you can use at work or at home

At the end of one of his presentations at the Couples Conference in Manhattan Beach, California last month, Pete Pearson literally performed a magic trick turning a business card into a flower. But far more impressive was when he showed us how to use “four little words” to transform almost any hostile statement into something that … Read more

Why “I need you” is a deeply unsexy sentiment

There is a common experience all therapists encounter, no matter the sexual orientation or gender of the person or couple:  A person describing their partner (or themselves) as “needy” or demanding.  They complain about pressure for (or a lack of) affection, sex, attention, talk etc. Yet our culture idealises the notion of needing your partner. “I need … Read more

Five Things Guaranteed to Fail in Couples Work

1. Talking about content not process How a couple talk to each other and treat each other IS their relationship.  That’s what we need to help them focus on.  Typically couples get into conflict about predictable areas – money, sex, parenting, boundaries, time use (too much time at work or a hobby, not enough time on domestic … Read more