Why “I need you” is a deeply unsexy sentiment

There is a common experience all therapists encounter, no matter the sexual orientation or gender of the person or couple:  A person describing their partner (or themselves) as “needy” or demanding.  They complain about pressure for (or a lack of) affection, sex, attention, talk etc. Yet our culture idealises the notion of needing your partner. “I need … Read more

Five Things Guaranteed to Fail in Couples Work

1. Talking about content not process How a couple talk to each other and treat each other IS their relationship.  That’s what we need to help them focus on.  Typically couples get into conflict about predictable areas – money, sex, parenting, boundaries, time use (too much time at work or a hobby, not enough time on domestic … Read more